Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
