Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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