Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
