You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
