but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
