called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
