dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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