Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
