Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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