Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
