I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
