it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
