were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
