Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
