Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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