Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
