Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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