it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
