he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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