my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
