just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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