i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
