there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
