So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i've created a new STD.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
