Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just high enough for therapy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
