I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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