we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
