i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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