This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
