just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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