my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
