i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
