he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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