She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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