that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
