Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
