Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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