Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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