Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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