It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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