Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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