Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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