tonight lets celebrate not being married
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
