How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
