Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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