well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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