Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

Fav 38 790 4533
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(989): View more from Michigan

I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."

Fav 9 1109 3868
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(607): View more from New York

I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

Fav 18 4681 987
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(520): View more from Arizona

I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

Fav 39 7789 1891
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(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

Fav 41 4007 1862
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

Fav 33 3202 6234
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(605): View more from South Dakota

You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

Fav 4 2815 1270
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(469): View more from Texas

I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.

Fav 2 957 465
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.

Fav 2 54 25
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