elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
