They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
