What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
