normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
